Hello computer screen my old friend....I've come to talk with you again...and though my thoughts were slowly creeping...I left you sleeping,  Sorry for the silence, but sometimes we have to retreat and regroup.

This blog was/is for me, a "safe space", that even I was struggling to utilize. I missed talking out loud, thinking, and writing, to my imaginary readers while I venture day to day questioning the world and why we slowly become silent players.

I stopped commenting and being as opinionated on social media. My feelings became as though my voice wasn't heard or mattered. I think what I felt and knew, and I was enjoying from it, were becoming lost. In a way I muted my own account.

Then I was brought back to my 7th grade self, reading Macbeth for the first time. Funny how things trigger a memory. Why did this one feel relevant to my current thoughts 20+ yrs later?

Regardless, going along with this idea, parts were chosen, and I chose Banquo as my role in Macbbeth. The trusted loyal friend, who dies shortly in (not knowing this at the time of my choice of parts). I have always seen myself as this supporting character. Why have I viewed myself this way? How do I change this internal instinct to be this "poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more'?

Why does someone seek to pick the supporting character. Are my words not valuable enough? Who am I to speak on so many subject matters that may be beyond my wheelhouse.

 And now even on social media where you can basically say whatever you want, and not be held accountable, I still chose the less confrontational aspect. My wanting and need to be accepted, over-ruled my authenticity.

Is it regret for decisions I have made, or the one's I continue to make and do not learn from or speak of? Or is it regret that the world is changing to a point where people can't seem to see beyond their own personal lives, and what affects them personally. I feel helpless. WHO AM I?  I wish I knew. But the little act of writing to my blog, reminds me someone is listening. Maybe I am heard. If not, maybe we just need a second to breathe, and give less thought to how we fit in this world, and start to shape our surroundings to better all of the above, and not just our own existence.

I will never lose faith in my fellow humans, and we should not lose that faith in ourselves. Check in with one another, and give people a chance to say and share THEIR truths. I gain so much from seeing the world from different perspectives. What may matter to you, is trivial to the next. But communication is key. We are all just a phone tree away.

Feel free to drive-by and throw some love at this blogger, or somewhere else. All voices should be heard, but please do not mute your own. And know when you have someone on the line, it may be their chance to speak THEIR truth.