Don't hate me for how I start this blog entry.

 "Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?" 

Enough to break the ice 😂.

I may, or may not, have used that as a pick-up line in college. If that gives you an idea of my humor and social awkwardness, you're welcome.

I was only reminded of this when receiving a Christmas card from my Aunt oddly enough. This was the image on the cover. Obviously the sentiment is completely different, but maybe you see where I'm going.

In college, polar bears were just a pick-up line. When I started thinking beyond myself, they became a representation of nature, the earth, and climate change. Now in my life this card was a mother bear and her cub. It is a stock photo, but a beautiful image of fierce love, and protection. When did how I viewed a polar bear change?

As the new year has begun, I think about who I am, and the people and things I want to nurture, and protect, even while feeling I need those same things myself. Sometimes I feel like the bear, but more than not I feel like the cub.

I constantly struggle with this Idea. The feeling as if you are between battles with life's hurdles, your own personal saboteurs, and caring about the things you hold dear. Sometimes you feel like you can't handle them all at once. They are not exclusive. Just as "tweens" are stuck in a weird age gap of maturity, it happens to us as adults.

Bear with me on this next part:

You dont have to be a comic book enthusiast to get this, I promise. I recently watched the newest Marvel comics movie "The New Mutants" (about young adults coming to terms with their "special powers").  I related to that coming of age, coming of power idea. I continue to to feel powerless in so many aspects of my life, even as a 30 something year old. But I am stronger than your average bear.

There's an old Native American proverb that says:

"Inside every person there are two bears, forever locked in combat for your soul. One bear is all things good, compassion, love, and trust. The other is all things evil, fear, shame, and self-destruction". 

Which bear wins?

...the one you feed the most.

You don't have to be a mama bear to protect  your "cubs". Trust in your own power, and strength. Nurture your inner bear. 

Drive-by and throw some picnic baskets